Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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