I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
