the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize