My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
How external is "for external use only"?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
