My entire life is one complicated drinking game
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
