He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
