so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
