Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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