Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
