Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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