I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
