two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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