i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
