Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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