My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
