I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
