Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
