He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
