Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
