I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
