I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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