I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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