Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
