I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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