dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
