either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
