thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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