Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
