Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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