can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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