There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
