you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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