Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
