so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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