I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
