it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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