we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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