just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
