hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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