So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
