Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
