How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
