Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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