He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize