He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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