Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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