He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
