Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
