I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
