Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
