Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
