So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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