My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
