I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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