looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
