i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
