he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
